Newsletter: November, 2005

Whom must I forgive?

“Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” (Matthew 18:33)

James read his mother’s letter again. “Your father doesn’t have long to live. He wants to make up with you.” But James seethed at the thought of his father. He remembered his coldness as a parent and his impossibly high standards. Even now his eyes moistened at the memory of punishments suffered at his hand. James had sought to erase his father’s influence from his life but in reality hatred for his father had affected every major decision he had made. He had declined a place at university knowing that was against his father’s wishes. He chose a wife he knew his father would dislike — the marriage was a disaster. Then there was his decision to stay abroad when all he wanted was to come home. These things were done to get back at his father, but who really suffered?

Martin Luther King said, “Hate is a boomerang that circles back and hurts you”. Forgiveness is important not just for the perpetrator but for the victim, helping them to break away from anger and bitterness which could freeze them in the past and destroy their hope in the future.

Jesus has been teaching his disciples about how to deal with fellow Christians who sin against them (Matt.18: 15-20). This prompts Peter, keen to impress Jesus, to suggest that he would forgive his brother seven times — a generous act, as rabbis would have limited it to three. Jesus, however, in saying that his disciples should be prepared to forgive seventy-seven times, means that Christian forgiveness should be unlimited.

Imagine the disciples’ reaction — how could unlimited forgiveness be possible? Jesus explains in the parable. The servant who owed ten thousand talents was probably a high official responsible for delivering the taxes from the province he oversaw. He owed the equivalent of millions of pounds, a hopeless debt, which, could never be repaid. Yet when the servant begged to be given more time, the king was compassionate and went beyond his request, forgiving him the entire debt. The king expected his generosity to affect this man’s behaviour towards others but instead the servant found someone who owed him three months’ wages (a minuscule amount compared with the servant’s own debt) and demanded payment.

The key to this parable lies in the king’s furious words, “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” If we truly understand how immeasurable a debt God has forgiven us, we will forgive others the comparably much smaller sins they commit against us. This is difficult teaching and there are some common misunderstandings about what forgiveness means in practice which are worth refuting. To forgive you must also forget. This is not always realistic, especially when serious crimes have been committed. Forgiveness does not necessarily involve forgetting but it does affect how we take those memories into the future, preventing them consuming us with hatred and vindictiveness.

Forgiveness always brings reconciliation. Whilst that is often so, there are times when reconciliation simply isn’t a safe or sensible option as might be the case in abusive relationships, for instance.

Forgiveness involves denying that our hurt matters. We can think that forgiveness involves playing down the significance of what has happened to us. But if forgiveness is to be true and lasting it must involve confronting sin and being honest about our pain. Forgiveness is often a gradual process, one which takes time and for which we may need the help of others. To rush through it by sweeping pain under the carpet can be dangerous. By asking us to forgive, God isn’t overlooking the seriousness of sin but asking us to leave any retribution up to him.

Forgiveness is primarily about our feelings. Forgiveness is an act of the will, a choice that affects how we behave. We may well struggle with negative feelings even after forgiving someone but God is concerned with our willingness to try, not in our instant success, and he will be there to help us.

For Jesus, forgiveness and our participation in it are fundamental signs of the kingdom of God. By practising forgiveness we show that we fully comprehend how much God has loved and forgiven us and through it, we can know the joy of working with him to pass on the grace we have experienced to others.

Lorna Smith

NEWS IN BRIEF
We are delighted to welcome Pastor Sandra Lasher to England again for a few days. Sandra works with the Methodist Church in the United States and is taking a well-earned break here with Lorna.

VICAR’S RETIREMENT
The Revd Lorna C. Smith, Vicar of St Jude’s for over eight years, retired with effect from 31st October 2005. As this Newsletter went to press before her Retirement Tea and final service, there will be a report in next month’s edition. We wish every good health and happiness as she prepares for this major change in her life.

THE CHURCH CLOCK
Many of you will have noticed that the Church clock only chimes intermittently these days and while I am sure that a few may be pleased, many have said that they miss it. The problem is that the clock has not been overhauled since the mid 1960s and is now in need of some serious attention. We have been quoted in the region of £1400 plus VAT to undertake this work. If anyone feels so strongly that this is worthwhile project that they would like to contribute, please get in touch with Brian Hooker, Churchwarden, 11 Willson Road, Englefield Green, Egham, Surrey TW20 0QB. Any contribution would be very gratefully received.

We now have the application forms for a faculty (a legal document from the Diocese) for this. This means that we should be in a position to instruct the contractor soon.

BIBLE READING
The Bible can be a difficult book to get into! Help is at hand in the form of daily reading schemes. Ask now for notes starting in January 2006. Jenny Chew can supply Bible Reading Fellowship materials and Rita Berry can supply Every Day with Jesus or Scripture Union. There are different styles of notes so that you can choose what suits you.

WANTED — A GOOD HOME
We have a pair of wrought iron gates each measuring 131cm wide x 89cm high. Anyone interested should contact the parish office on 434254 (evenings) — a donation to the Parish Centre Appeal would be welcomed.

CHARITY CHRISTMAS CARDS
It’s that time of year again! There will be Cards for Good Causes at the Multi Charity Christmas Card Shop at Cordes Hall, High Street, Sunninghill from 27th October to 17th December — opening hours as follows: Monday–Friday 10.00am–4.00pm and Saturday 10.00am –1.00pm. You may shop on-line at www.cardsforcharity.co.uk. All charities receive at least 81p in every £1 from their card sales, out of which they have to pay for the production and distribution of their cards and any applicable VAT.

SATURDAY AFTERNOONS
As you may know, we keep St Jude’s Church open for visitors each Saturday afternoon between 2.00 and 4.00pm. To do this safely and adequately requires at least 3 people at all times. To keep this running, we must have a rota of people who would take a turn — obviously the more offers we have, the less often each one would have to do. If you can help with this, say, once every two months, please contact the Churchwardens (telephone numbers are shown above) or by email to saturdays@stjudeschurch.info. Your help would be appreciated.

BISHOPSGATE W.I.
The Englefield Green Bishopsgate W.I. invite you to a Coffee Morning with handicrafts, cake stall, bring and buy and a raffle to be held on Thursday 10th November 10.00–11.30am at the Jurgens Centre. All are welcome.

CHRISTMAS MARKET
This will be in St Jude’s School on Saturday 19th November from 2.00 to 4.00pm and will as usual be in aid of USPG. Please make a note in your diary, now and help us support this worthwhile charity.

FROM THE REGISTERS
Holy Baptism:
(2nd October) Katy Louise Beadle

Holy Matrimony:
(24th September) Matthew Colin Whitcombe and Victoria Lamming

Wedding Blessing following a Civil Ceremony in Wales:
(24th September) David Edward Whitfield and Sylvie Tops

Funerals:
(4th October) Audrey Roberts (10th) June Mary Kitson.

FORTHCOMING EVENTS

TEAR FUND COFFEE MORNING
There will be a Coffee Morning in the Porch of the Methodist Church in Victoria Street on Saturday 5th November from 10.00 to 11.30am. There will be cakes, books, bric-a-brac and TRAIDCRAFT.

TEAR Fund is a Christian organisation bringing relief and promoting development all over the world to people of all religions. Proceeds from this event will go the Earthquake Appeal. Offers of items for sale and help on the day will be appreciated.

UNICEF CARDS AND GIFTS
Joan Wintour will be selling UNICEF cards and gifts after the 9.30am service on 6th and 27th of November. If, however, you would like to have a catalogue or buy cards at another time, please ring her on 01784 437796.

THAMES HOSPICECARE FAIR
There will be a Christmas Street Fair on Wednesday 16th November from 6.00pm to 9.00pm in Sunninghill High Street. This is to raise funds for Thames Hospicecare (formerly Thames Valley Hospice and Paul Bevan Foundation).

CALENDAR FOR NOVEMBER 2005